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Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Favor Is Costly

I have to tell you that Mary, the mother of Jesus has been on my mind since Sunday.

This little girl, knowing what others would think of her, knowing that it could end her life and would end the life she knew...willingly accepted the call to carry the Son of God.  

Truthfully, my thoughts of Mary began in January when Bishop Estep (my father) spoke about favor.  How Mary found favor...but favor doesn't mean obstacle, pain free living-just the opposite.  

 Then Simeon blessed them, and he said to Mary, the baby’s mother, “This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, and many others to rise. He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him.  As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul.” - Luke 2: 34-35 NLT emphasis mine

Simeon told her that a sword will pierce your very soul...how many times did that happen throughout the life, death and resurrection of Jesus.  

Blurry, but this is Me, Bo and Jake (1 year)

I am the mother of one son.  I had him at the ripe old age of 18!  I tell him that we grew up together.  I thought I was very mature.  I thought when I found out I was pregnant with him at 17 years old, that I knew everything there was to know about being a good mom.  I was 100% wrong!  Because of my youthful faith I didn't see my shortcomings.  Sometimes our ignorance works in our favor.  I didn't know to be scared by my lack of wisdom...I was gonna be a Mommy and I loved my baby.  That is all that mattered to me.  

Me and Jake when he was 6 mths old.

My whole adult life, I have been the mother of Jake.  Mary's whole adult life, she was the mother of Jesus.  Never knowing a moment when her heart wasn't occupied by this intense, all consuming love for her son.  Now, unlike me (sorry Jake), Mary knew that her Son was the Son of God.  That the life He was to lead, was full of obstacles because of others sins, problems, prejudices, unjust lives.  Every time someone spoke out against her Son, her heart was pierced.  

Sunday Night, Bo and I watched The Passion Live on TV.  I loved it.  When Trisha Yearwood (portraying Mary), stood next to the cross, with her hand placed on the spot where her Son gave His life...I couldn't help but feel a little of what Mary had to be feeling.  As a mother, the pain would be too much to bear.  With tears streaming down my face, I heard my father's words, as he preached to us, "And a sword will pierce your very soul."  

I told Bo that I couldn't imagine what she had to endure that day when Jesus was crucified.  Listening to everyone scream, "Crucify Him!".  All the venom and hate for her son, her little boy, her heart...knowing that He loved everyone who was screaming for His life.  

Bo told me that she went through so much after the angel came to her, she had experienced hate before.  My response was, "No, as a mother, I can take someone throwing rocks at me...talking about me...wanting my head on a platter but I can't handle when someone attacks my child."  The agony I feel inside is so deep when I see my child in pain.  It is unlike anything else.  To see hurt in their eyes, my heart is pierced.

So yes, Mary was favored but favor is costly.  

This Holy Week, I am drawn not only to Jesus but to His Mama.  I know she would have willingly taken his place if should could have.  Not that the Bible says this but as a Mom, I would beg for them to take me instead.  

I am thankful for the sacrifice of this women who became a Mom as a child. Giving her whole life so that the world would be saved...even the ones who crucified her reputation on the cross of gossip and hate.  Jesus even died for them.  This love has no beginning and no end.

Jake with his son Bo...the cross in the background reminds me
that the cross is always present in our lives.

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