My husband asked me two days ago, "New blog anytime soon?".
I responded with, "I have felt muted."
Muted by who? To that I cannot really say a particular someone or maybe it is truly muted by the Holy Spirit.
The more I read on social media or news media, the more I see hatred, discontentment, bigotry, lies, unrest, distasteful rubbish. I began to question each thing I write, think, say, feel...it's very troubling in my Spirit.
Why would the Holy Spirit mute me? I didn't have to deal with this question until my wonderful husband asked me about my blog. It was easy just to keep myself busy with being a Pastor, mother, business owner, daughter, sister, friend...putting my blog on the back burner. But then, Bo asked me about it.
Why would the Holy Spirit mute me? Why? Was I full of what I was reading and He would rather me not put that out there and grieve Him? That question has bothered me. So I began a heart search...mind search...motive search...
I began to pray, "Show me all the hidden, nasty areas of my life." I know I have some (I like to keep them hidden, they bother me, embarrass me, reveal my total dependence on God).
This is what I believe to be the purpose of my silence:
It was not time to write. Sometimes we have to be quiet to allow God time to speak. Putting aside our words to hear His. Reading His Word, spending time in His presence, studying, praying, seeking His face.
I will tell you this...Oh how I long to write about art, photography, decorating, parties, my grandsons, my children, my family, my life...and sometimes I do but most of the time it's about what God has put on my heart.
Instead of writing my own words, I have been writing the Word of God. I have a notebook, well really lots of them now, full of the scriptures. It's my morning ritual before I do anything else, I write the Word of God. Why? Because He silenced me for a season. His words are more important than mine. So when I read all the hate on social media or I read the hate texts from people who don't like us anymore, I won't use my own words to respond. I will have a new language and my heart will be full of God's words. My arsenal for the battle that lies ahead is stocked. I can communicate with the One who goes before me and with the One who has my back...because I am learning His language.
I really don't know how much I will be writing in the near future. It could start again several times a week or maybe not much at all...
I love to write even if only a few read it. I vow that I will only use this blog to uplift and bring the Love of God to you. I will not use it to condemn and discourage. God is LOVE. God is LOVE. God is LOVE. So to be like Him, I MUST be love too.